Once upon a time Everybody knew that Emoticons were played out. Played out by far. Everybody but a little boy named Peter. A little boy who decided that i, the wicked Sutter, should include emoticons on my humble site in comical-form. So persistent was he that he produced an archetype of the model of the example these comics should follow:
When i still refused to stoop to the emoticon level, the little boy went to a small, bearded man on a hill and asked him for help. "I concur with your stupid request, little boy, and to prove to you and the rest of the Queen's realm that I share your point of view, I too will create a comical strip to help you convince the evil Sutter to bring emoticon blandness to the kingdom of Inkfingerville... town!":
So swayed from the beauty of these two odd people was the Sutter that finally, after a long, long 2 hours his pen dropped on the page and when it was lifted a brilliant emoticomic was sprawled out before him. It was even dumber than it's predecessors and all the townspeople threw back their heads in glee. Amen:
Now let us never speak of this again. Ever.
THE END. >:(
UPDATE:
And yet still the little boy was not satisfied and he sought further, more soulless depths. This time Goodwife Shannon was on his recruiting list. She grabbed her mouse of fire and burned down the great Hall of MS Paint to stain our eyes with this emoticomic... from HELL!:
Nooooooo! The once innocent little boy has brandished his parenthesis again and enlisted a, um, dragon of some sort to produce another emotional iconic pictograph!:
NO MORE!
"hurrah!" cried out the townspeople. "give us more."
Posted by: p. dalkner | January 30, 2007 at 12:25 PM
i wish i would have coined the term "emoticomic". :-(
Posted by: p. dalkner | January 30, 2007 at 12:26 PM
i'm pretty sure that cancer of the semicolon is the funniest thing i will read today.
Posted by: dane | January 30, 2007 at 01:42 PM
cancer of the semicolon....holy shite sutter, you are damn funny!
Posted by: niff | January 30, 2007 at 08:20 PM
I laughed more than I should have.
Posted by: TheJones | January 30, 2007 at 08:50 PM
That last bit was too much like math...
Posted by: Dean | January 30, 2007 at 09:08 PM
YES MORE!
Posted by: fern | January 31, 2007 at 04:44 AM
Noooooooo! Hahahaha awesome.
Posted by: Jacob Estes | January 31, 2007 at 09:14 AM
Noooo, you're encouraging emoticomics! Noooooo
Posted by: sutter | January 31, 2007 at 11:38 AM
I second Jones's comment.
Posted by: meghan | January 31, 2007 at 03:32 PM
Asians! I am offended!
Cancer of the semicolon! Ha!
- ` ´
￣
Posted by: Kim | February 02, 2007 at 03:11 PM
argh. It was supposed to look like this:
` ´
￣
Posted by: Kim | February 02, 2007 at 03:13 PM
obviously you are not an experienced emoticonic professional like myself, Kim
Posted by: sutter | February 02, 2007 at 05:01 PM
I did Emoticons door-to-door for three years. Those were the days.
Posted by: Jacob Estes | February 03, 2007 at 02:32 PM
Um, Emoticomics are, like, so last year, dude.
http://www.emoticomics.com/
Posted by: ROGER HODGSON | February 13, 2007 at 04:54 PM
Pretty cool stuff...
I like the semi-colon cancer the most :D the rest aren't as good as that...
Posted by: MarDinLi | July 17, 2007 at 02:37 PM
I found a condom in my wifes hair :D :"D
geniaal :D
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